no need for a title

This is my favourite shot for this moment. I don’t know why but I feel calm when I look at it. That’s why I love photography!

But wait. Try scroll upward until you reach the header. Look at the two words below my name. Medicine. Photography. Which one comes first? Medicine right? That’s because my future lies in it. But what have I done to achieve it? Nothing. Yes, of course I’m now in a medicine school. I even finished my first year. Alhamdulillah. But the passion? Photography got it covered most of it. So why I want to become a doctor? I’m still searching for the answer. It’s not that if I’m not taking medicine I’ll take photography as my career. Absolutely not. Because I don’t think the future is promising. But as a hobby it is great. You’ll not regret it.

So what I want to be? It’s totally contrary with what I’m in now. What you got it mind? I’m sure you will think of an engineer right? Yeah maybe it’s true. But I’m not saying that I want to become an engineer. Try imagine what a doctor deals with; Life, health, diseases, drugs. Engineer; building, roads, highway, skyscraper, houses. I’m sure you got the idea what are the differences between this 2 professions. It just like one is in the east and the other one is in the west. And I’m stuck in one of those two sides.

I never regret what I chose for my life. Because I know Allah has chose the best for me. It’s my job to find out about it. Medicine is interesting. Really interesting. I admit it. You get to know what actually happen in our life, that most people don’t know about it. But MEMORIZING is really not my thing. And medicine is all about it. Mostly. Yes, there are few things that you need to understand, but I found out most of it are all about memorizing. Especially second year subjects =.=

So, what should I do?

CHANGE

InsyaAllah

I love doing what I like to do. I love to study the subjects that I like. But for now I don’t have any favourite subjects. All are depressing. That’s why I can’t study. But I have to. Dulu kalau bosan buat Math, now?…………………….that’s why hobby takes place.

[Exam Mode]

block 1 exam is coming within a week from now

it is the first exam that we would encounter in second year as medical student

honestly, i never take block exam seriously

but this time, i feel like preparing for university exam

i’ll feel guilty if i sleep in the evening

i’ll feel guilty if i watch tv series and play fifa instead of study

same goes with writing this blog entry in the middle of the night while reading the viral multiplication topic

but playing basketball is ok for me, it helps me in the other way

one thing i noticed recently, everyone kept pushing me to study, i don’t know why

but i don’t really mind about it, because at least it would be a reminder for me

i just wish that i can do better than the first year

……………………….

Basketball

8 years ago, I was walking down a stair with a senior, who was in the school’s basketball team. At that time, I was in form one, in Sekolah Menengah Sains Sabah (SMESH). I don’t really remember what we were talking. What I can remember is I was very small at that time (until now actually), so the senior told me, "If you want to become taller, go play basketball”. So, starting from that moment I tried to learn how to play basketball. Since the hostel just beside the basketball court, I went there every chance that I got. After a few years, I don’t remember whether I was in form 3 or 4 at that time, I joined the training for SMESH basketball team. It was not last long. I knew that I really bad in basketball. So I stopped (there’s something happened actually in between, but I rather not to talk about it, don’t want to spoil others name.). Then, I just played like usual.

Form 4, I moved to Sekolah Menengah Sains Machang (SMACH). To make the story short, I joined the basketball team. My progress in learning basketball was getting better at that time. One of the school player there, who was really good, asked me to be on the team for the HKSBP. I was really happy at that time. I always dreamt that I can play for the school in HKSBP, since I was in SMESH. But then, things were not happened as I expected. After a long hours of training everyday, I even skipped my PREP class, I was not listed to be on the team (lot of things happened actually in between, again, which were quite dramatic, but it’s better not to talk about it, nama baik orang lain kena jaga). Then again, I just played like usual. But I was proud because that year, the team became champion in HKSBP and got second place in PPM, which was a big successful to the school ever since.

There were 2 disappointments in my progress in basketball.

But, of course I’m not stop playing. I love the sport very much. I don’t mind if I’m not in the team, as long as I can play happily with my other friends. But thing was different when I was in Kolej Mara Seremban (KMS). I love my teammates very much here because they really appreciated me as part of the team. We entered every single 3on3 basketball competition that were held in Seremban and also KL. Although we didn’t win, it was great to play with each other. It was the best moment in my basketball life.  I really hope I could play with them again.

So now, I’m here, in MMMC. I don’t know how to describe it here. It was soooo great. Basketball has connected me with different kinds of people, from different batches, different gender, different countries, different races, and it is all DIFFERENT!. I never thought that I’ll be in the college team (even though I only played less than 2 minutes in Intercollege Competition last time =P) and I was very happy to play for my batch, especially during the interbatch competition last year. Here, I met someone who has a really great enthusiasm and also crazyyy about basketball, more than I did. Who? Those in MMMC might know about HER (that’s the clue, she might be reading this as well =P).

There are lots more to talk about basketball, but I can’t keep writing, second year of medicine is killing me @_@

I just want to say that I’m really happy with what I am now. Alhamdulillah.  Basketball has taught me failure is not the ending of our life. As long as we keep trying, we’ll get what we want. Maybe we might not get it now, who knows in the future we can get even better. Allah has promised us that. So, just keep it in mind.

 

Someone asked me before, why choose no 8? Find out.

I just want to…..

I just want to think about my medic life here

I just want to think about my passion in photography

I just want  to think about my interest in basketball

I just want to have a good time with my friends here

I don’t want to think about anything else…..

I hope so

Please stay away from me for a while

Come back when it is the right time

2nd year

I miss the study week during my first year university exam

every single minute is priceless

books never get away from my eyes

but now…..

I’m lost in second year subjects

I found it interesting, but I still couldn’t find the momentum where to start

I should have start my study now before it starts pile up (it is now…)

my aims are very high this time, I hope I can achieve it

InsyaAllah

Once a year

for this post I just want to share some pictures that I took during Raya

I’m not good in taking people photos

my favourite genres are more toward landscape, nature, and still life

but there are no harms in learning right?

these are all my cousins

it’s hard to be together like this, maybe once a year

more….

I kept experimenting my lens from day to day since I got it

I need to get used to it in every aspect

well, I agree with people saying that this lens is quite slow in focusing

but it depends on what situation you have

focussing can be quite difficult for me sometimes, but when I got it right, the result is outstanding

at f/2.8, I found that the image turned out to be soft

but I think it’s due to hand shake

it’s quite difficult to shoot with aperture wide open

even a small movement also can make the picture not sharp

I should do more experiments now, while I still have the time, before going back to Manipal, a place where all my time will be taken =P

Raya?

Raya tahun ni tak seperti yang diharapkan

Biasanya tiap-tiap tahun hari raya pertama mesti raya kat kampung ayah dulu

dan biasanya mesti ramai saudara-mara berkumpul bermula pada malam raya tu

tapi tahun ni mostly semua beraya kat kampung sebelah satu lagi dulu

so, pagi raya tu tak ramai sangat orang, so agak suram sikit

tp ok je, just tak boleh nak buat photoshoot ramai-ramai =P

Alhamdulillah, tahun ni berkesempatan untuk ambil gambar satu family dengan lengkap.

memang bukan satu benda yang senang nak buat, masing-masing belajar kat merata-rata tempat, nak tunggu berkumpul semua sekali memang jarang sangat-sangat.

then, raya kedua beraya kat kampung mak pula.

penggambaran dapat dilakukan dengan lebih aktif sedikit =P

ditambah lagi dengan adanya kenduri kahwin, so, dengan tidak semena-menanya jadi bidan terjun.

tak suka sangat jadi photographer untuk event, tapi bila dah pegang camera besar tu, siapa yang tak push suruh ambil gambar, so terpaksa la~

now I can do less editing

this new ‘toys’ can make better pictures =D

so far, not many photos to show, still experimenting

today will go to one more wedding, hope can get better and better

this one also just experimenting, you can see how bad the composition is

but when I asked my cousin (the one with orange shirt) to do it again, he said there are no more fireworks

 

so enough for now, I’ll post more pictures after this if I get the chance~

What to do

2 more days before going back to Kota Bharu

living here in Kemaman is really boring

not because of the place, but because I got no friends here

no even one

my homes are uncertain

few years there

few year here

well, talking about friends, I actually happen to has a ‘friend’ somewhere around here

but it’s quite impossible to meet, and I’m sure we’ll no meet anyway

so just leave it, I don’t want to talk about it

So, what was I did all this while?

of course, my camera will not leave me alone

walking with a big camera here is really uncomfortable

not like in India, where people can assume me as a tourist

but here? *segan*

so I just kept my camera in the bag while walking and took it out only when I found the things that I want to capture

enough for now~

Alhamdulillah

sesungguhnya Allah penentu segala-galanya

asalkan kita terus berusaha, insyaAllah dengan izinNya kita akan dapat apa yang kita kehendaki

the results have came out today

Alhamdulillah I pass all the subjects

jika dikenang kembali saat-saat sebelum mula exam sebelum ni, I can say that I didn’t put any hope to pass

all I was thinking is FAIL

but I know it’ll not get any better if I’ve surrender before going to the war

so I just keep my mind positive and put all my efforts

I know Allah will help me

as long as I keep working harder

and this is it

I’m walking to second year as medic student

something that I never thought about it before

and I know it’ll be tougher than before

so

with new spirit

I’ll make myself better

insyaAllah

terima kasih kepada semua yang telah memberi sokongan dan bantuan samada secara langsung atau tidak langsung, sesungguhnya hanya Allah sahaja yang dapat membalasnya

~terima kasih~

 

p/s: I love the sky in Malaysia. Everyday with dramatic cloud ^_^

Home

masuk hari ke-2 berada di rumah

all I can say is

dah mula bosan haha

sebab tak ada orang kat rumah

kakak and adik-adik balik next week

so sabar je la dulu

So

ingat nak share gambar-gambar time on the way balik hari tu

mostly gambar kat Bangalore kot

tu pun tak banyak ambil gambar

ntah, tak ada benda yang menarik perhatian

anyway, enjoy~

awan Bangalore

solat Jumaat kat masjid ni time kat Bangalore. Lawa.

MG road sememangnya beracun

better left your debit card at home

rambang mata memilih saree

so solution terbaik, tengok sekali terus ambil

jangan fikir lama-lama

menunggu flight ke Kuala Lumpur

sekejap lagi tulisan ‘Security’ tu akan berubah kepada ‘Delayed’

*tension*

 

that’s all I guess

arrived at LCCT around 1.30am

then went back to Kemaman

reached home about 7.30am

~the end~

Time to go HOME

at last

the time has come

saying goodbye to Manipal for a while

after almost a year not going back home

which is the longest ever for me

don’t know what kind of feeling I feel right now

happy? nervous? scare?

all mixed up

about exam, don’t want to talk about it

I’ll when it’s the right time

just pray for us

leaving to Mangalore first this evening

take 503km train to Bangalore

which I guess take about half a day to arrive

then, ‘throwing’ our money all around Bangalore city

our flight is on the next day

hope nothing wrong happen, no delay

I don’t want to let my parents waiting for me so long at the middle of night

as according to my mum, we’re going back home that night also, which is in Kemaman

pray for our safe journey

insyaAllah

Salam Perantau

walaupun masing-masing dah tak sabar nak balik next week, tapi sibuk gak nak buat salam perantau =P

exam practical belum habis lagi, insyaAllah hari Rabu ni semua selesai

setahun dah tak balik

ni la kali pertama tak pulang ke kampung halaman untuk jangka masa yang panjang

dah terbayang macam-macam dah apa nak buat balik nnti ^_^

Selamat menghadapi exam practical buat batch 25

Salam Ramadhan, semoga ramadhan kali ini lebih baik daripada yang lepas. Gunakanlah peluang yang ada dengan sebaik-baiknya

Salam Aidilfitri, walaupun masih awal

salam

Less than a week

Yes

It’s less than a week starting from now

So many things have not covered yet

even though most of my friends nearly finish all the topics

I know I’m a bit slow in term of this

(i mean reading, understanding, and memorizing, especially if the things are all about facts)

even worst

they said the questions for us will be quite difficult

i don’t know whether it’s true or not

hopefully not

i just want to pass

please………

I know Allah will help me

Just usaha, doa, and tawakal

InsyaAllah boleh

[motivasi diri]

Auto

okey

i guess many have bought this toy

i bought one box, consists of 6 of it

thanks to sarah for telling me where to buy it

i bought it because my youngest brother loves vehicles, especially cars

so maybe this one is bit different from his collections

only can be found in India

6 can be too much

but since i got many boy cousins, maybe i could give it away to them

and since i love photography, the toys can’t get away from being my subject =P

okey, continue study~

Ke-4

Result block 4 dah keluar.

Alhamdulillah…..

Sememangnya unexpected.

Walaupun tidaklah secemerlang rakan-rakan yang lain, terutamanya kawan baik aku yang distinction semua, tapi cukup la untuk usaha aku yang tak seberapa ini.

Mungkin sudah terlambat untuk memperbaiki keputusan-keputusan yang lalu, namun masih tak terlambat rasanya untuk menghadapi exam final yang tinggal 16 hari lagi.

Doakan kejayaan kami semua.

Jom study!!!

Road to Final

When the exam just round the corner, I feel like I want to keep writing a new post everyday.

So that I can relief my pressure.

I don’t really like to write because my English is not that good.

I don’t want to write in Malay because I tend to use short form. Saya tak nak mencemari bahasa Melayu. (Exception in SMS and Facebook =P)

Today, especially tonight I’m in a better mood. Specifically about the exam coming.

Before this I felt depressed because I was so scared and disappointed with my previous results that were totally disaster.

But I’m really happy and motivated now.

I have gain my spirit back.

I’m back on the track (hopefully)

All because of the people around me that keep giving me motivations.

Thanks a lot ^_^

Mana boleh mengaku kalah sebelum berjuang, kan?

 

i want to attach at least one photo in every post I made, but since now I’m not having much time to take picture, no photo for this post =(  Maybe next time.

p/s: kak ida, i’d removed the annoying flame =P

Study Break

Today was the first day I started my revision. The final exam is coming in about 3 weeks starting from today. My condition is like "egg at the tip of horn" (ibarat telur dihujung tanduk). My internal assessments for all subjects are just beyond or equivalent to the passing marks, which is very very dangerous. I'm very worry with myself. I don't know what have happened to me since I started my university life. Seems like I don't belong here. Almost all my friends, especially from KMS, are far more better than me. I can say that I'm the lowest among the others. Ashamed with myself. I'm not supposed to be like this.
Last few days, I talked to my uncle. My mom told him about my 'bad' condition here. He tried to give motivation to me. One thing I really remember about what he said, lebih kurang macam ni la "dulu-dulu hebat masa kat sekolah sains, tak kan sekarang tak boleh".
Yes, I admit that that day was far more better than now. Even the IB program in KMS, I can still get better marks. But now, everything was a turning point. I'm no longer able to achieve that level. I always think that I can do better in other courses. Because the ways of learning in Medic by only 'reading, understanding (mostly not), and memorizing" are not my way. I love calculation and answering question based on understanding and opinions. Just like Math and Business Study. But after all, I'd chose this course. So no turning back. I've to fight for it. Allah has better plan for me and He knows what the best.
Actually, I don't want to talk about this thing. It only 'stored' in my thought each and every second of my day. But once I started typing, the thought automatically 'diffuse' into these words, without I'm expecting it.

I want to talk about my revision today. But since it’s quite late for Maghrib prayer by now, maybe I can talk about it later (maybe). Here I want to share a few photos that I took this evening, after went back from library. I’m too jealous with my friend’s photos that she took really nice yesterday. So I tried my best to get photos like her, but I don’t think I can produce better. Nothing interest me this evening. But anyway, I just want to share. Enjoy ^_^

p/s: the photos are all unedited, because I just format my laptop. Also,  I accidentally deleted the installer for CS4. The CS5 installer got little problem. So I end up with no photoshop in my laptop, which quite ‘awkward’ haha….

My Passion

Lots of thought in mind. But nothing to write. Whenever I feel like writing, something will block it. And I end up with nothing to write. A lot lot lot of things are going on write now. But I’m hardly put them in words. So, I just let them be in my mind, like nothing happen.

Before this I was discovering what is my favourite part in photography. Time goes on, but I still hardly choose which one I love the most. And now, I think I got it. It’s LANDSCAPE ^_^

Just want to share some of the photos that related to landscape. Maybe you can tell whether I’m really good at it or not.

There are a lot more. But maybe these are enough ^_^

Rain

Alhamdulillah. After about 4 months without rain, Manipal was hit by a heavy storm and rain a few days back.

It occurred all of a sudden. I heard a lot of damaged houses after the storm.

Alhamdulillah our house as far as I know still in good condition. Except Farid’s room having an overnight flood that day =P

A lot of  broken trees I could see around Manipal campus when I drove my bike to the class that morning.

It was an uncommon scene that I could hardly see in my home country.

About the photo above, I really love it! ^_^

It was unexpected shot. At first I just want to capture the moment this Indian kids playing with each other during the rain. But in addition, I managed to capture the smiling face that shows how happy there are with their life, apart from living in poverty.

Alhamdulillah, Allah shows me the best way for me to use my camera =)

So that I can really appreciate what I have got in my life and make me aware that there are more people out there that are less fortune than me.

Therefore, appreciate every single thing that Allah had give to us by saying Alhamdulillah. ^_^

Malpe Fish Market

semalam matwan ajak aku pergi pasar ikan kat Malpe Beach

tujuan asal nak ambil gambar suasana nelayan baru balik dari laut dengan ikan-ikan yang banyak

tapi bila kitorang sampai semua dah takde, mungkin agak lewat sedikit

hanya berkesempatan ambil gambar diorang tengah bersihkan kawasan tu

gambar2 ni mungkin dapat menggambarkan bagaimana diorang bekerja keras untuk sesuap nasi

tak kira lelaki atau wanita

tempat tu boleh kira memang asing bagi aku. bila kitorang sampai je kawasan tu, semua mata tertumpu kat kitorang

cuak gak takut diorang buat pape. tp tak perlu risau

diorang semua baik-baik dari pandangan mata aku

even ada yang tanya kitorang datang dari mana walaupun ada masalah sedikit dari segi komunikasi

namun aku dapat gak memahami apa mesej yang diorang nak sampaikan

keadaan menjadi lebih ‘teruk’ bila kitorang keluarkan camera yang sememangnya lebih ‘besar’ dari saiz biasa

ada la beberapa orang yang berkerumun kat keliling kitorang

ada yang suruh ambil gambar diorang, ada yang suruh ambil gambar sunset, diorang nampak happy betul, aku pun turut rasa happy

bukan senang nak jumpa keadaan macam ni kat malaysia

entah-entah kena marah lagi kalau ambil gambar diorang. mungkin la. aku pun tak tau.

brother yang kat atas ni la yang tanya aku dari mana

mula-mula dia tanya dalam bahasa local. mana la aku faham

kemudian dia tanya  lagi. aku pun geleng-geleng kepala

aku cakap la “English?” Dia pun tanya la kawan-kawan dia. aku rasa dia tanya siapa yang faham English

last sekali dia pun tanya

“House?”

time tu baru la aku faham, aku pun jawab la

“Manipal”

ni la kapal-kapal yang diorang guna untuk pergi tangkap ikan

terasa nak gak ikut diorang ke laut sekali. melihat macam mana diorang bekerja untuk menyara hidup

dalam kesibukan sebagai medic student ni, aku tau aku tak punya banyak masa untuk berjalan-jalan ambil gambar

tapi bagi aku, kalau aku tak cari masa tu, sampai bila pun aku takkan dapat menggunakan peluang aku berada di India ni untuk meneliti kehidupan penduduk kat sini

mungkin ada la orang yang akan cakap “Apa la mamat ni pergi sana sini ambil gambar, bukan nak study”

tapi tak kisah la, asalkan aku puas hati dengan apa yang aku buat

pencapaian aku sekarang memang tak macam dulu lagi, tak dah tergolong dalam  kalangan ‘top students’

cara pembelajaran medicine memang jauh tersimpang daripada jiwa aku yang sebenar, yang lebih kepada ‘mechanical’

tapi aku tak kisah, ini memang cabaran baru bagi aku

“Allah tidak membebani seseorang melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya” [2:286]

sekian, wassalam~

is there still hope for me

post regarding my travel I put on hold first

the result for block 2 came out today

and I don’t feel like i’m a medic student

what’ll happen for my final then?

T_T

travel feedback: part 1

just got back from travel

or i better called it ‘Adventure in India’

it’s not like a calm, quiet, and enjoying vacation, but we did enjoyed it

it was very tiring, visiting from one city to another

Goa, Mumbai, Udaipur, Jodhpur, Jaisalmer, Jaipur, Agra, Delhi, Shimla, Manali

most of the time we spent in the train

the journey can be up to 12 hours

it was very, very, very tiring

i don’t know how to describe it anymore

in this post i’m not going to tell about the places that we visited, maybe some other time

at first, most of us were really enjoy our trip, but in the end, everyone was talking about going back to Manipal

well, i’m happy with this adventure

i learnt many new things

i got to know my friends even better, especially anwar since he is not from kms

every places that we visited were interesting

but i don’t like how the local people here treat the tourists, including us

whenever we arrived at any train station, we received ‘warm’ welcome from the taxi  and auto rickshaw drivers

they were like ‘forcing’ us to use their services

but i know, it was not their fault

they are finding money for their life and also for their families

this ‘adventure’ had taught a lot of things to me about life

maybe i continue later

salam

Ujian.Dugaan.

minggu depan exam block 2. pejam celik pejam celik dah habis block 2. at first, i have good feeling that i’m gonna score very well this block. maybe better than last block. tapi dengan tiba-tibanya seminggu sebelum exam aku mengalami demam, yang pada aku agak teruk. sebab setelah sekian lama aku tak mengalami demam. alhamdulillah sihat walafiat. tapi beberapa hari ni aku tak tau apa yang aku buat sampai boleh demam. mungkin terlampau banyak minum air sejuk. seminggu sebelum exam yang sepatutnya aku ulang kaji pelajaran, terpaksa aku habiskan kat katil sahaja huhu. mungkin ini ujian bagi aku untuk kuatkan semangat. aku tau ini semua hanya ujian bagi aku. Allah tak kan bagi ujian kat aku kalau Dia tau aku tak boleh buat. InsyaAllah aku akan cuba sehabis baik untuk menghadapi exam ni.

tapi yang paling penting sekali, aku sangat-sangat berterima kasih kat kawan-kawan yang mengambil berat tentang kesihatan aku ni. especially mat wan yang sanggup datang dari jauh bagi buah kat aku, ayed selalu urut-urut kepala aku, masak untuk aku, chang tolong bawa air masak gi bilik, dan yang lain-lain. terima kasih banyak2 =)

Updating myself

Alhamdulillah….kehidupan kat Manipal sekarang boleh dikatakan dah stabil

Rumah dah ada

Bilik dapat sorang satu. I love my room very much. Gonna add some more stuffs in my room later

Motor dah ada. W/pn motor murah je, x macam kawan-kawanku yg lain, tp ok la, asal bleh bawa gi kelas cukup la

then….exam block 2 tinggal seminggu je lagi

InsyaAllah dpt memperbaiki result block 1 yg tersangatlah teruk

TRAVEL!

habis je exam, bermulalah perjalanan kitorang 8 org yg xbalik, mengelilingi India. X de la semua tempat, mostly the north India. Maybe rasa nak balik Malaysia tu ada, tp alang2 dah ada kat tempat orang, lebih baik gunakan peluang ni utk mencari pengalaman dan mengenal tempat orang, bukan selalu boleh dapat chance macam ni, dok kat India ni pun bukan lama, 2.5 tahun je. InsyaAllah raya tahun ni balik Malaysia =)